I spent much of December trying to wrap up my year in writing, but never found a way to really sum it up – at least not with words or sentiments that everyone else hasn’t said to themselves a million times.
Of the many things learned, what fascinated me was who turned out to be “essential” in our society. It wasn’t me. I don’t say that to denigrate myself or what I do contribute to the world, but I just wasn’t one of those people that needed to be out and about to keep my city, county, state or country going.
I am proud of some notable things I did, mostly the speech and interviews I did on behalf of The Silent Goldens documentary project (links below). I found purpose in service to those who needed my help in various ways, especially taking care of pets and speaking with other survivors of suicide loss. I feel lucky to have not contracted or lost anyone to COVID, but I am overwhelmed by the numbers and feel deeply for those who have. I aim saddened by the division and delusion in our nation and scared for our future, yet relieved that the coming chaos likely won’t be led from the top. I am disappointed that I didn’t use the time given us in 2020 more productively or creatively, yet I am grateful I had time just to “be” without the consistent pressure from the outside world.
Though nothing tangible changed from 11:59 December 31 to 12:01 January 1, except the clock and the calendar, I do feel a sense of “getting back to work” in me, which I’ve been building up to over the holiday season. My goal is to have a finished – or a solid rough version – of my film done by the end of July when I will be presenting a workshop at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Long Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit and my 2021 resolutions are all in service to that deadline.
The biggest resolution is to ask for the help I need from the people I need it from to do this. Not more hinting or hoping. Just doing it.
My wish for all of you is good health, much happiness and better times this year!
May your lessons of 2020 provide you with a solid way forward in 2021!
USC Verdugo Hills Hospital Suicide Prevention Conference September26, 2020
Note: I start 5 minutes in, after opening remarks.
Wife of the Party Podcast with LeeAnn Kreischer October 22, 2020
CurrentTime TV Segment starts at 35:30, Voice of America Intl (Russian), September 9, 2020
Masarawy Egypt, September 29,2020.
ShoutoutLA August 24, 2020