My mother killed herself when I was a sophomore in college. For more than 30 years our family never talked about her suicide. It changed the course of all our lives, but it was that silence in the aftermath that hijacked mine.
Undetected for decades by me, and those closest to me, was the significant toll my silent struggle with loss and grief was taking until a breakdown nearly crushed me. Only then did I come to the realization that the key to my own mental health was to initiate long overdue conversations about my mother’s death with those who knew her best.
With a passion for storytelling and as an experienced TV producer, I was moved to turn my personal act of survival into a documentary feature as I discovered our family’s decades long silence was far from unique and my own issues mirrored other loss survivors.
Through conversations with those closest to my mother, our family’s story will serve as a voice for the millions of people living with suicide loss, revealing the unique burdens and the universal struggles among the survivor community. Our discussions will also give a more intimate understanding of suicide’s impact on the individual members of a family and the group as a whole.
I realized I was living a lie – we all were.